...During the day, your child uses their tablet to do math exercises; but when your child gets home, they only want to play games and watch videos. You know your child shouldn’t be spending so much time playing Roblox or watching TikTok or YouTube, but you’re tired of arguing. When your child is happy and occupied, you can hop on the exercise bike or get dinner started in peace. After a long day, we all need these quiet moments...
In this scenario, your child has their own device (phone, computer, or tablet) and is using this device to text friends, play games (online and offline), use learning apps, take pictures, do schoolwork, browse the web, watch videos, and listen to music.
Setting the Scene
What to consider
What to discuss
Middle Childhood
Preparing for Your Child’s First Device
How to prepare your kid and their device, so they can enjoy the internet, safely.
Setting the Scene
Your Child Needs Their Own Device for School...
Your kid is probably excited to get their new device, but it comes with responsibilities
Flip cards for a solution
Problem:
You’re worried that your children might share personal information with people on the internet whom they do not know.
Solution:
Teach your kids about the importance of privacy and what personal information (theirs and yours) should never be shared online such as addresses, phone numbers, Social Security numbers, door codes, financial data, and photos (of themselves, their family, their home, etc.).
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Problem:
Without a clear understanding of expectations, asking kids to put down their devices can be challenging. You have to come off as the “bad guy” and that can be hurtful.
Solution:
Set time limits in advance for your child’s online activity. (Learn more about how Aura’s parental controls can help you set these limits on your child’s device. You can even set time limits for individual apps.) This will allow you to separate the emotional element, leading to smoother transitions. If your kids know they will have a predetermined amount of time to spend online, they can plan beforehand how they will use it — which allows them to maximize the experience and not waste their time, for instance, on random web surfing.
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Problem:
You're worried that all your child does on her iPad is watch brain-melting unboxing videos. If she’s going to be on the device, you would rather her time be spent productively.
Solution:
There’s a big difference between active and passive screen time (like drawing a picture vs. watching a video). Encourage imaginative play, and download learning or creative apps that complement your child’s unique interests.
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Problem:
The internet is seemingly boundless; you’re worried that your kid will discover something that is way too inappropriate (either by accident or even sometimes on purpose).
Solution:
Set restrictions on what they are allowed to see. Aura’s parental controls let you easily filter content so that your child doesn’t see anything violent or graphic. Some search engines like KidRex and Kidtopia are designed to only show kid-friendly search results.
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Problem:
Your kid keeps jumping from app to app — playing a variety of games, and constantly “chatting” with people online.
Solution:
Only allow one app on one device at a time. Avoid constantly adding new apps so that you can keep track of what apps are in use, what their affordances are, and how the interfaces work.
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Problem:
You’re worried your kids will infect their devices with viruses by visiting unsafe sites.
Solution:
Activate malicious website blocking on your Aura app for all devices in your family. This will ensure that your child won't somehow stumble upon sites that could steal information or install malware on their phones and laptops. (Hint: this is very helpful for adults, too.)
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Now... Let's Talk
Let’s talk about recognizing scams and “phishing” links
Review topics including online etiquette and how to identify secure websites. You can use examples of child-specific scams (such as contests, free software, and fake “giveaways”). Sharing examples is an effective way to show your children how scammers work. Cybercriminals use free and pirated materials to lure kids into downloading malware — children are more likely to trust email attachments and links without realizing that these could cause harm. (For young children, use simple words to describe what happens when they access malicious links; for instance, clicking on a pop-up picture can make the computer “sick.”)
Let’s talk about keeping your team informed
Ensure that anyone who supervises your child is in on the plan, including after-school sitters, grandparents, stepparents, older siblings, etc. Make sure everyone knows what’s okay and what’s not okay for each child in your household to do online.
Let’s talk about model behavior
Remember that as parents, we are role models and can influence habits. Create clearly-defined boundaries, and adhere to them. This can be difficult (especially at first), but try to stick with it. Demonstrate that you can unplug. If you are easily interruptible (or continuously interacting with work contacts online) during time spent with your children, they will believe that digital engagement is more important than in-person communication.
Let’s talk about making offline time fun
Design planned activities, online and offline. Create inviting, attractive, unplugged spaces in your home to illustrate that you and your family can enjoy quality time that isn’t tech-based. Show your children that it’s okay to get messy. Make art. Cook. Play with musical instruments. Go outside (even if the weather isn’t perfect). Plant flowers. Take walks together. Experiment with non-tech activities to see which ones work best for you and your family.
Let’s talk about co-viewing
Watch content together to have shared context with your child, and see how they are responding to certain content or issues. If you’re not able to co-view, try to have your kids use technology in a shared space, so that you can observe them and interact with them while they are using devices.
Is Your Child Ready for a Device?
According to child online safety expert Devorah Heitner, the three most important independence milestones that signal your child's cell phone readiness are the ability to handle conflict, disappointment, and privacy.
While most parents' primary concern with cell phone use is safety, social and emotional issues can be more concerning. For example, think about misunderstandings or private moments that occur between adults — these are even more complicated for kids...
According to child online safety expert Devorah Heitner, the three most important independence milestones that signal your child's cell phone readiness are the ability to handle conflict, disappointment, and privacy...
According to child online safety expert Devorah Heitner, the three most important independence milestones that signal your child's cell phone readiness are the ability to handle conflict, disappointment, and privacy.
While most parents' primary concern with cell phone use is safety, social and emotional issues can be more concerning. For example, think about misunderstandings or private moments that occur between adults — these are even more complicated for kids. Have you ever misread someone's tone in a text message and mistakenly concluded that the person was angry with you? Or felt sad when you discovered on Facebook or Instagram that your friends were getting together without you? Has anyone ever shared something that you wrote in a text or email without your permission? What about nude photos or recordings of sexual activity? It's tough enough being an adult and grappling with these situations. Before you give your children phones of their own, be sure that they're mature enough to resolve conflict, regulate negative emotions, and understand what not to share. [Source]
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