How To Avoid Romance Scams Online

Are You Dating a Scammer Online? Here’s How To Know

Online romance scams occur when con artists target potential victims by posing as love interests on dating websites and apps, social media platforms, and even messaging apps like Whatsapp. After quickly building a romantic relationship, fraudsters pivot to requesting money, favors, or personal information. 

In 2024, nearly 60,000 Americans reported to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) that they were victims of romance scams, with losses totaling $1.176 billion.

These skilled imposters often hide behind “cover stories” to avoid in-person meetings or video calls. Here are some of the most common angles that romance scammers use:

• They work overseas in the military, on oil rigs, or as international contractors
• They've seen huge returns on "special" investments (especially cryptocurrencies) that they want to share with you
• They need financial help for travel, family emergencies, or new phones — with promises to pay you back
• They impersonate celebrities or well-known individuals looking for "real" connections
• They're wealthy entrepreneurs or professionals who are just too busy for traditional dating

The rise of Artificial Intelligence (AI)-powered tools has made romance scams much more dangerous. Sophisticated scammers, like the Nigerian-based Yahoo Boys, use deepfake technology for voice calls and even video chats, making their scams more convincing and likely to succeed.

If you’re looking for love online, it’s important to understand the warning signs of a dating scam — and what to do if you’ve been ensnared by a false lover. 

🤔 Test your ability to spot online scammers with Aura’s Spot the Scam quiz →

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How To Spot a Romance Scammer Online

Romance scams are often a "long con" — fraudsters may spend days, weeks, or even months building trust before the real scam begins. Despite their patience, almost all romance scammers leave telltale warning signs.

Here are the most common red flags that can help you identify a romance scammer:

1. The relationship gets serious quickly ("love bombing")

Romance scammers don't waste time — they'll shower you with excessive compliments, declare their love within days, and talk about a future together before you've even met.

This technique, called "love bombing," is designed to overwhelm you with affection and create a false sense of intimacy. If someone online is rushing the relationship at an unnatural pace, be wary.

📚 Related: 11 Serious Risks of Online Dating (and How To Avoid Them) →

2. They're always traveling or live far away

Most romance scammers claim to be working overseas, often in the military, on oil rigs, or as international business people. This built-in excuse explains why they can't meet in person. It also sets the stage for future requests for money, which they claim are needed so that they can come see you.

One example is the “Artificial Patriot” scam, in which fraudsters use AI-doctored images of real American soldiers to trick victims. The wife of Retired U.S. Air Force general Douglas Fraser found over 300 fake profiles on Facebook posing as her husband, which romance scammers had been using since he was still in active duty. 

💡 Pro tip: Be especially cautious of anyone who says they're an American working abroad but writes messages with unusual grammar or phrasing.

3. You can't find information about them online

Most people have some online presence in 2025. If you can't find any trace of someone when you search their name along with details they've shared (like their profession or hometown), regard this as suspicious.

Run a Google search of the person’s name to see what comes up (and if it matches what they’ve told you). If it’s a common name, you can append their hometown or profession to the search, such as: “Joe Smith +lawyer +Charlottesville.”

4. They have picture-perfect photos

Romance scammers create fake dating site profiles by using attractive photos stolen from social media accounts, stock photo sites, or even model portfolios. 

Look for these warning signs:

• All their profile pictures look professionally taken
• They only have a few photos, often depicting the same outfit or background
• The person in the photos doesn't match the details they've shared about themselves
• Their appearance seems inconsistent across different photos

💡 Pro tip: If you have suspicions, you can try conducting a reverse image search. If you track your new friend’s photo to a modeling agency or someone else’s account or business, you’re dealing with a scammer. 

5. They refuse (or are always unable) to video chat

A legitimate romantic interest who has genuine feelings for you will want to see your face. If your online match constantly makes excuses about why they can't video chat, it's likely because the actual person doesn’t match the photos they've sent.

Even people deployed in the military or working on oil rigs have access to video calls occasionally. If you come up against repeated excuses, that’s a major red flag.

📚 Related: How To Spot AI Voice Scams →

6. They promise huge returns on "special investment" opportunities

Many romance scams are linked to investment fraud, particularly crypto scams. A new online friend might claim to have insider knowledge or access to exclusive investment opportunities that offer guaranteed high returns. 

The notorious pig butchering scams start this way. A developer from Santa Monica lost $740,000 to a long-running romance scam, as his online beau convinced him to liquidate stocks and drain his retirement for an investment opportunity. 

7. They quickly try to move conversations off dating sites

Legitimate dating platforms have systems in place to detect and ban scammers. Fraudsters know this, so they push to move conversations to encrypted platforms — like WhatsApp, Telegram, or via text message — as soon as possible.

While it's normal to eventually communicate outside of online dating apps, be suspicious if the person is eager to move the conversation elsewhere immediately after matching with you.

📚 Related: How To Spot a Bumble Scammer: Avoid These 6 Bumble Scams →

8. They request personal or financial information

Most people sense danger if a stranger asks for banking details, Social Security numbers (SSNs), or copies of identification documents. But romance scammers may deceive you with seemingly innocent questions about your childhood, pet names, or your first car — information commonly used for password recovery questions. 

Never share sensitive personal or financial details with someone you haven't met in person, no matter how trustworthy the person seems.

9. They ask for money, gifts, or specific payment methods

The clearest sign of a romance scam is a request for financial help. Scammers typically create emergencies that require immediate financial assistance — medical bills, legal troubles, stolen wallets, or travel funds needed to finally meet you.

Another red flag is that they often request specific payment methods that are difficult to trace or reverse, such as wire transfers, gift cards, money transfer apps, or cryptocurrency.

📚 Related: Why Do Scammers Want Gift Cards? →

10. They pressure or threaten you to act quickly

Scammers create a sense of urgency to prevent you from thinking clearly. They often claim that their situation is dire, and they need help immediately — or that a time-sensitive investment opportunity will disappear.

If you hesitate or mention that you need to talk with a friend or family member, the scammer might become manipulative, even threatening to end the relationship. This behavior is all part of an effort to control you and isolate you from people who could help uncover the scam. 

11. Their stories don't add up

Pay attention to inconsistencies in their background, experiences, or emergencies they describe. Romance scammers often juggle multiple victims simultaneously and may mix up details they've shared with you. If you notice contradictions in their stories, or they can't recall information they should remember about your conversations, consider these major warning signs.

12. They get defensive when you ask verification questions

A genuine love interest with honest intentions won't mind if you ask questions to verify their identity. Scammers, however, often become defensive and angry or try to make you feel guilty for not trusting them.

If simple requests — like suggesting a video call or asking more questions about their job — lead to accusations that you don't love or trust them enough, they're likely hiding something.

How To Protect Yourself From Romance Scams

• Do a reverse image search of the person’s profile photos. Google, TinEye, and other search engines let you upload images to find where else someone appears online. If you discover the photo belongs to a person with a different name (or it’s a stock image), you're likely dealing with a scammer.
• Never send money or share sensitive information before meeting in person. Legitimate romantic interests won't ask for financial help or personal details early in a relationship.
• Keep communications on the dating platform until you meet. Dating apps and official websites have systems to detect scammers. Once you move to external messaging apps or email, you lose these protections. 
• Trust your instincts, and consult friends or family. Don't keep your online relationship secret — discuss it with trusted people in your life who can offer objective perspectives. If something feels off, it probably is. 
• Suggest video calls early in the relationship. Legitimate matches are usually happy to video chat. Persistent excuses for why they can't should raise immediate red flags.
• Take your time — don't rush the relationship. Scammers create artificial urgency and try to fast-track emotional connections. A genuine relationship can develop at a comfortable pace without pressure.
• Research the person’s background and stories. Anyone with a successful career in the military, engineering, or oil rigs should have some type of digital footprint. Search for details they've shared about their job, education, and location.
• Be wary of perfect matches and excessive flattery. If the person seems to share all of your interests and constantly showers you with compliments, they might be manipulating you.
• Consider running a background check. For serious relationships that progress beyond casual dating, background check services can verify someone's identity (or past issues with law enforcement) before you become too invested.

How To Report a Romance Scammer and Stay Safe Online

If you suspect you're communicating with a romance scammer, you should collect evidence of the scam — such as screenshots of messages and profiles — and then report them to the dating or social media platform you’re using. If you’ve moved the conversation to a messaging app, block their phone number. 

However, you never know how scammers may try to use the information they’ve gathered about you. It pays to take proactive steps to protect your identity, finances, and privacy. 

Start with safeguarding your finances by freezing your credit with all three major bureaus — Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion — and contacting your financial institutions to cancel compromised cards and accounts. Then, update passwords, and enable two-factor authentication (2FA) for your most sensitive accounts. 

Finally, file reports with the proper authorities, including: 

• The FTC at IdentityTheft.gov (if you’ve given out personal information)
• The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at www.ic3.gov to help them build cases against organized scammer networks
• Your local police to create an official record of the crime and help you clear your name and/or recover stolen funds

For extra protection, sign up for Aura. For just over $1/month, you get online privacy and safety tools including a virtual private network (VPN) and antivirus software to protect you against hacking, online account monitoring, and 24/7 U.S.-based support.